Finding Out God's Will: A Scarey Notion

Three women sat in car outside of a 7-11 on Eastwood and 435. They were handing out pamphlets and I got super excited to share with my fellow evangelists for a time of spiritual uplifting.
"Do you know about Jesus Christ?" She asked me? "Here's literature for you." She stuck her hand out of the window before I could answer the question.
I reached for the pamphlet and immediately recognized it. Recognizing the title of the work I quickly said, "Absolutely not!" It was from a faith different from sound Biblical doctrine.

Francis Chan

For the next 30 minutes I engaged in a deep conversation about how they are completely offensive to me and the Jesus of the Bible. The words of Francis Chan kept coming to me as I was seeking to demonstrate - in love and grace - how the Jesus they represent is not the Jesus I worship.
Let me say this without "plagiarizing" Mr. Chan but retelling my conversation with these ladies, I don't know much about engaging other religions and I seek not to cause arguments or create an enemy out of a fellow human being. So I use the best pastoral examples to engage conversations in a "woman at the well-esque" way.
I followed up my conversation with these women by saying, "You cannot possibly read this Bible, even the one you're holding, and come to the conclusion that Jesus is anything other than God in the flesh, deity meeting humanity, the sovereign coming to earth.You get it not because you have come to that conclusion on your own but rather because someone else told you that was the way to think!"
My question is the same that Mr. Chan asks, "What is it that I believe that someone else told me too but I can't find in Scripture?"
I was telling my testimony to a new friend the other day (an exhausting endeavor I must say!) and reliving how we acted in prison towards one another. We shared everything. I'm not kidding. We would share food, clothes, books, money, and even underwear! Okay, so that last one isn't true but I would if a brother asked for my chonies. But nothing was ours that wasn't each others.
Now coming out I'm baffled by the separation of church members. I'm baffled by how we are so distant from the people in our churches and so distant from our fellow professing believers. I'm sitting here at the mission looking at tons of believers that will go through the day wondering if they'll make it back to the mission in time for a meal; in time for a bed to sleep in safely from the cold and crime of the streets.

Some Random Church

It was saddened the other day when I went to a church. I had to push a button fourteen times there attached to the wall by the door before finally getting an answer. "Can I help you?" They asked as if I were pulling into a drive-through ordering fries.
"Can I talk to someone?" I asked half laughing half getting ticked off.
"What can I help you with?"
"I would like to talk to someone physically." I asked and asked again four more times.
It was a weird moment. Here I was at a Christ professing church and yet no one was there to meet me without, what seemed like, me giving a special code word. Is this a representation of the church in Scripture? A fortress type building there to blockade itself in rather than seek to transform from without? Shouldn't a church be about opening its doors and allowing anyone one in at anytime? Why are bars open more hours than our church???!!!

Our Savior was never too busy to lift the needy

I wonder, what if I read the Bible and sought to live out what I read? What if I stopped looking at the culture around me and started to live like a...Christian? What would that look like and more importantly what would I have to give up? Better yet, What would I have to do?
Finding out God's will, as Mr. Chan says, is a scarey notion. Yet it's what we're called to seek out before anything else. God's will first is for you to have a relationship with him and second for you to lay down your life for others. Does that match up with your church's culture or mission? Does that match up with what you're seeking in your walk with God?

Doing What I Love/Loving What I Do

My first week at City Union Mission was amazing! I have such a heart for those men and want to see each one cared for, ministered to and treated with love. That's why I'm loving every second of it. Check it out, my job is to hang out with these guys, listen to their stories, pray with them and read them Scriptures. Can you believe I get paid to do what I would do for free?!
It's tough yes. I'm pulling hours still as an independent contractor so that makes for a tiring week. Thankfully I'm loving what I'm doing now and that counts for a whole lot.

I met Willie and Wayne, I call them the twin towers because their huge. Willie just found himself an apartment and a job - praise God! I took an old vet to the VA last Sunday after work and literally cried because of his story of separation, loss and disability. Then there is Red. He's an incessant insomniac who loves to tell me 49 different stories in one conversation. And many more I could go on and on about.
The systemic causes of homelessness are so complex and often to vast for this pee brains capacity and it hurts to think of how tough some have it. Going in there helps me far more than I could ever help them. I'm reminded each day of the blessings I have and how grateful I should be for the life I live and for the family that I have.

On a side note. I just came in from walking the streets with some fellow students at Midwestern. We had some interesting conversations and I met some fascinating people. These three girls that were apart of our team are so impressive. They have started a street ministry called Revolution. Amazing they have such a heart for the lost at such a young age.

Dr. Johnston joined us tonight. He's a giant in the faith and a brilliant man who could easily live in an ivory tower on campus but shows his love for the Great Commission by coming out with students like us - shows what a solid man of Christ he is.

Pondering Purpose

It wasn't long ago my friend Shawn Sanchez called me up, "I'm working at a mission!" He exclaimed with spiritual fervor. It hadn't struck me in all my time as a Christian how important a ministry our missions and organizations like them can be. I can't tell you what it was I thought I'd do: Pastor, preach, youth minister? but I knew it would be something by way of devoting my all to a career ministering the Gospel. So when I went on a soul search of who I was and what passions I possess it was in my friend's life I decided to embark on a journey to find out God's will for my life; His plan so to speak.
Today, my last full day with Morgan Jacobs Construction, I dug ditches. I broke through tree root, concrete and rose bushes on my way to digging those much needed footers. Needless to say I have a couple of blisters and a sore back. Nothing new - it's what I've done all my life.
I pondered this plight - this grunt work - in my search for meaning. I thought, "What am I really good at? Is it only working like an ox? So, what is it?" No it isn't computer programming; nor would they allow me to be a banker. I can't sell shoes much less cars. I don't know how to build rockets nor operate on a human. The bewilderment I faced was taxing - after all, is it not the quest of every man to find that one purpose and dedicate himself to it with all he has?

I'm a former drug addict, ex-con, degenerate, street thug who loved to raise hell and didn't mind sleeping under a bridge when I had to. I possess very little job placement "skill" and I have a tendency to work harder than my body will allow. So in bemoaning my current life condition I found my niche: minister to the broken!
Why not?
Hey, I'd like to slap the smile off of Joel Osteen just like any right minded Christian and you won't find me buyin what Joyce Meyer is sellin either. But if anyone has cause to be an example for their false prosperity gospel it's me. In January I had nothing: no home, no car, no clothes, no money, no job, no bank account, no nothing! Now, almost 11 months later I am doing well for myself. I know that doesn't give me reason to boast (I will boast in Christ alone) but if I were to be talking in human terms God has blessed me beyond measure.  (And no it wasn't because I "spoke it into existence!")
What does all this add up to? I can help - I think. I think, as my friend Shawn has done out in San Fran, I can offer encouragement, advice, and empathy to those grasping for the light in the midst of darkness. Heck, why else would I have gone through the things I had? And another thing, it would be a shame if I didn't, like a warrior escaping the battle, go back in and get my comrades.
Yep, that's my purpose - I think. God may say differently. In the mean time I'm walking into, for the first time ever, my very first job wearing something other than an old beat up pair of wranglers and a stained t-shirt.

Telling the Story

Another milestone occured this weekend in our marriage: Our first pumpkin carving. We had a blast in an impromptu desire to carve pumpkins with my parents out in Kingsville this weekend. We had planned on seeing our beloved patriarch S.E. Moore, however surgery had him a bit weary.

Pumpkin carving with Mom and Dad

Speaking of Grandpa, Beki and I told our testimonies last night to our Gospel Community group. These people have been such a joy to share our time with each Sunday night.
It's hard for me to talk about my story (So Beki is sitting beside me this morning and I know is making the comment to herself, "Hard to talk? You?"). What I mean is this, as I grow in Christ I become more aware that the story really isn't about me. It's not me who somehow turned his life around and is living this different way because he's tougher, more able or any other reason of my own doing. So telling my story before Christ makes me uncomfortable - terribly uncomfortable.
I don't know why. Maybe it's like the addict or alcoholic that doesn't want to continue reliving the glory/tragic days of drinking (then again that would make an A.A. meeting silent!). I know that for me what happens when I drum up the past it becomes a reminder of how screwed up I can make any situation if I'm the one driving the car.  Plus, I feel an overwhelming sense of loss due to the time missed building relationships, doing what's right and the time I had to spend in prison because I didn't know how to act right.

Beki With Granny and Grandpa Moore

I lived a foolish life; I really did. My decisions were often based on personal pleasure and the people I associated with were the ones who would hurt me the second my back turned. The bigger picture was an afterthought and my perception was clouded in anger and violence. That was my life defined in a blurb.
How many ways can I tell that? How often must I? Last night was the first time I think I ever got it right. I didn't go in with a script but just let my story be focused solely on Christ and the redemption He provided. I guess that's all one can really do. Living past stories are often laced with ego and grandeur; kind of hard to include either of those when repeating the name of Jesus!