Telling the Story

Another milestone occured this weekend in our marriage: Our first pumpkin carving. We had a blast in an impromptu desire to carve pumpkins with my parents out in Kingsville this weekend. We had planned on seeing our beloved patriarch S.E. Moore, however surgery had him a bit weary.

Pumpkin carving with Mom and Dad

Speaking of Grandpa, Beki and I told our testimonies last night to our Gospel Community group. These people have been such a joy to share our time with each Sunday night.
It's hard for me to talk about my story (So Beki is sitting beside me this morning and I know is making the comment to herself, "Hard to talk? You?"). What I mean is this, as I grow in Christ I become more aware that the story really isn't about me. It's not me who somehow turned his life around and is living this different way because he's tougher, more able or any other reason of my own doing. So telling my story before Christ makes me uncomfortable - terribly uncomfortable.
I don't know why. Maybe it's like the addict or alcoholic that doesn't want to continue reliving the glory/tragic days of drinking (then again that would make an A.A. meeting silent!). I know that for me what happens when I drum up the past it becomes a reminder of how screwed up I can make any situation if I'm the one driving the car.  Plus, I feel an overwhelming sense of loss due to the time missed building relationships, doing what's right and the time I had to spend in prison because I didn't know how to act right.

Beki With Granny and Grandpa Moore

I lived a foolish life; I really did. My decisions were often based on personal pleasure and the people I associated with were the ones who would hurt me the second my back turned. The bigger picture was an afterthought and my perception was clouded in anger and violence. That was my life defined in a blurb.
How many ways can I tell that? How often must I? Last night was the first time I think I ever got it right. I didn't go in with a script but just let my story be focused solely on Christ and the redemption He provided. I guess that's all one can really do. Living past stories are often laced with ego and grandeur; kind of hard to include either of those when repeating the name of Jesus!