Judge Jarvey

I sat trembling in the courtroom at the federal building in Davenport, IA. The intimidation coupled with the unknown caused my heart to beat with intense speed. The Judge sat with hands that held a pair of reading glasses supporting his cheek. "Mr. Lee," he began. "You have come so far..."
I have to stop there. See, this was July of 2009. For the last 9 months I'd been waiting for this moment, waiting to find out what fate had in store. So in all that time I slipped into this walking depression mode that I masked with Jesus, a smile and chocalate cake (I wieghed 260!). In that time my life took so many positive turns amidst all that bad: met Beki, fell in love with Jesus, met SE Moore, became a member of Kingsville Baptist, wrote 2 books, all really good stuff.
So here I sat, a man who went from a reckless crackhead to a responsible, church attending, God loving Jesus Freak; but that still didn't ease the pressure of knowing my life was in the hands of this man in a black robe sitting on an over sized podium.
He went on. "I have to say that I'm impressed with your change. Your faith I know is genuine and it's a testemant to how far you've come," There was a long pause..."But...the sentencing guidelines are what they are and I'm going to give you 45 months."
Ouch. The sound moved like a wave, hitting my heart before it reached my ear drums. My soul seemed to hear it first and in that moment, life suddenly made sense. I know it sounds crazy but it was an epiphany like experience. I knew what my life was about in that very moment, clarity, understanding. life coming full circle to meet us right where we are. Don't ask me to explain it. It is the really powerful moments in life that words never do justice.
"I want you to use this as a learning experience Mr. Lee," his words I barely remember as the baliffs slapped cuffs on me. "You have the chance to get out and impact other young men headed down this path and you'll be able to use your life as a way to reach them. I have confidence that you'll use this to help kids Mr. Lee." I think that's what he said. The memories are cloudy. I had so much adreniline pumping through my veins.
I have something to say to Judge Jarvey. I thank you for your confidence. And you were right, I have had this experience turn into a good thing for my life. But I dont' want to impact just kids, I want to reach the world with the message that Jesus lives and hell doesn't have to be our eternity because He stands in our place. So each day I want to look back and remember, that even though the man handed me 4 years hard time I still can honestly say he had my best interests at heart. There is no doubt he is there to judge so that society can be protected, but in my case I'd like to beleive he was serving justice by looking out for my future and what I can do by living for Christ.